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5 Steps to Forgiveness #77

Christopher describes his personal life experience that helped him to realize how important forgiveness is. This takes a lot of hard work to accomplish but it is the most valuable.

There came a moment in his life when he realized the resentment he had held for so many years was going to kill him. He said, “I had a moment of like almost standing outside of myself and seeing the anger I held and I knew then that I can’t hold onto this. This is hurting me. This is killing me slowly… It was the first step that I knew that I had to take to start coming to grips with the need for me to let go, to forgive.”

The first step he says is a belief.

#1 The Universe is working to help you in life.

For Christopher, “This is the first step that I had to come to terms within that process because I realized that if I just looked at how I was living and who I was living with; the reality of my life at that point.” As a result of the difficulties he went through in his life, he ended up developing wonderful relationships with his siblings.

#2 Forgive yourself for the little stuff

These are the things that really don’t mean anything, the frivolous stuff. He gives an example of when something happens and he might loose his temper, reacting in an emotional manner that is overboard. He explains that when you realize what happened, that it’s OK to forgive yourself. “In that, I forgive myself because if the universe is working in my life to help me, then my reaction, if I view it symbolically, was a process for me to see where I went wrong and then to correct it in the future.”

#3 Forgive yourself for the big stuff

He does not feel forgiving yourself gives you an excuse to justify bad behavior or attitudes towards others done willingly, but that everyone makes mistakes because we are human and fallible.

#4 Forgive others for the little stuff

This could be snippy comments others say that may be intended as a jab at you. He looks at it as, “OK, that’s their stuff. Let me forgive them for that so that I don’t hold any ill will within me.”

#5 Forgive others for the big stuff

“What’s really important about this is that forgiving others isn’t for them. It’s for yourself.”

“Things are going to happen to us that we didn’t consciously choose yet I can still hold to the belief that if the universe is working for me then maybe I can re-frame the experiences in a way that don’t drag me down into the darkness deeper… but allow me to see that darkness can be re-framed into light.”

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About the Author

Chris and John spent decades forging the understanding of deep practice in the quest to master the disciplines of martial arts, yoga, meditation, and lifestyle design.